I Miss You
by that-sexy-genius
Summary: It was all planned out; they were going to finish high school, get scouted and have full scholarships to university. Rin would be able to swim with Haru for the rest of his life, and together, they'd find that sight they'd never seen before. Then why was Rin all alone?


Rin always hated how quiet the walk was up the hill. He'd drag his feet, leaves crunching with each footstep, his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. He stopped walking, casting a glance behind him, back at Iwatobi. If Rin squinted, he could see a faint hazy glow, from the Summer Festival, he guessed. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about going to the festival, pushing the idea around in his head when Gou asked him, her smile gentle. It didn't take long for him to decide; he couldn't go to the festival, it wouldn't seem right, not when _he _wouldn't be there-

The redhead turned away, hunching his shoulders as he glared at the ground, his eyes stinging. Rin made his feet move faster, forcing one in front of the other, ignoring the twinge in his calves. The unexpected chill in the air made the boy bristle and he pulled the hoodie closer. It wasn't like Rin to be so unprepared, heading out at night, even in the summer, wearing shorts and had a thin hoodie to keep him warm.

He had planned to stay in his dorm, maybe watch a movie or two or catch up on a little homework. It was the silence that got to him- after all, everyone had gone to the festival, making Rin practically the only one who had stayed behind. He tried to call it an early night, lying back in his bed with his arms behind his head, eyes closed as he took deep breaths. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't drift off, not with _his_ face burned onto the back of Rin's eyelids and the more he thought about him, the more it felt like he couldn't breathe, like it was him who was drowning, gasping for air- Rin's eyes had snapped open, springing out of bed like lightning and he had rushed out of the door before he had realised what he was doing. He needed to go somewhere, anywhere where he could breathe, his legs taking him to Iwatobi on their own accord and he didn't bother turning back.

Up ahead, Rin could see the hill's peak and he grit his teeth, legs made of lead. Squaring his shoulders, he made his way up, his heart thudding loud enough to echo in his ears. It was there, the simple shrine with words "NANASE FAMILY GRAVE" carved into the stone, a small lantern and incense burning at its base.

His hand involuntarily reached out, fingers mere millimetres away from brushing the name he was so familiar with. Rin stopped; his hand was shaking and he balled it into a fist, stuffing it back in his pocket. He stood in front of the grave awkwardly, suddenly unsure what to do. The redhead regretting not bringing something along with, maybe some flowers, to pay his respects, feeling stupid for rushing out so abruptly. He sighed, tense shoulders unwinding and Rin slowly lowered himself down to the ground, sitting before the grave.

"Oi, Haru," Rin brought his legs to his chest, balancing his chin on one knee. He swallowed back the lump in his throat, "I'm here,"

He kept his eyes on the lantern, watching the flame flicker back and forth as Rin tried not to wait for a reply. He could picture it in his mind; the dark haired boy's eye roll in response, staying silent as Rin would carry on a practically one-sided conversation, chiming in here and there.

Maybe they'd go for a swim, and Rin'd probably- no, definitely challenge him to a race, feeling a rush of happiness when determination would burn in Haru's eyes. It'd be a close one, and maybe, once they finished, Haru would grace him with one of his rare smiles and Rin's breath would catch in his throat.

Maybe Rin would remember to finally ask the boy out for dinner to that fancy new restaurant Haru had talked about, and Haru would nod, a faint smile curving his lips. The two of them would argue over getting steak or mackerel; of course, they'd end up getting mackerel, since Rin could never say no to those wide, blue eyes.

Maybe, just _maybe_, he'd slip his hand into Haru's, and the boy would flush. Rin would grin widely, intertwining their fingers, pulling the dark haired swimmer towards him before they parted. Haru's lips would be soft, just like the hundreds of kisses before and just like every time, Rin would feel like his heart were about to burst out of his chest.

His chest ached, and Rin turned his gaze away, towards the ocean. He had to admit, it was the perfect place; on one side of the hill was Iwatobi, Haru's hometown, where he grew up, and on the other, the beach and the sprawling sea, all the way to the horizon. Rin could hear the crashing waves, the sound nostalgic and his grip around his legs tightened.

"Today's the Summer Festival," His voice was hoarse, "Gou's gone to it. We were going to go together, remember?"

An accident, they called it. A terrible, unfortunate accident. It was tragic, they said, that a promising young athlete had died at such a young age. It was a freak coincidence, of course, no one could have predicted the sudden storm, otherwise how would such a strong swimmer have been caught out in the sea? Rin clenched his teeth, remembering how he'd taken one look at the word, DROWNED, printed on the paper and proceeded to rip it to shreds. No one said a word, watching with silent eyes, Nitori understandingly cleaning up the mess he'd made, and no more was said of the topic.

"Iwatobi doesn't come over for practices anymore," He sounded hollow to his own ears, eyes flitting back to the name carved on the shrine, "It's weird; I kind of miss them,"

Gou had been the one to tell him, turning up at his dorm with tear-stained cheeks as she collapsed in his arms, a jumble of words he barely managed to make out. Rin could swear his heart had stopped, eyes widening as the words registered in his head.

"But it's you-" His eyes started prickling and his nails dug into the meaty flesh of his palm, "-it's you, I miss most,"

Rin had never run so fast in his life, his heart busy pounding away furiously in his chest as if it'd never beat again and he practically flew along the dirt paths and winding roads leading to Iwatobi. The day was sunny, and Rin wanted to curse the sky; how dare the sun shine, how dare the sky be so blue when Rin wanted to crumple into a ball and never face life again.

The steps leading to Haru's place were full of people, their faces all full of sorrow as they whispered amongst themselves. He pushed his way through frantically, jostling anyone is his way, trying to block out snatches of conversation- _poor young man, such a tragedy _- as he heard as he ran past. The voice inside his head shrieked, screaming at them all to stop lying, stop talking, _please_, just shut up.

"Haru," Rin's vision blurred, the kanji on the shrine illegible as he clenched his jaw, "I miss you. I miss you so damn much,"

He had always been called a cry baby, ever since he was young. Little Rin always cried over the smallest things, and he'd be lying if he said older Rin was much better. He had felt the tears welling in his eyes, his chest seizing up as he tried to breathe as his eyes fell upon the too-still body, but they had refused to fall.

"I wonder if you're happy…" Rin scrunched up his face, ignoring the wetness on his cheeks, "…wherever you are,"

The photos had been the last straw. Rifling through his drawers for a working pen, he'd seen them; the after relay pictures he'd somehow managed to get a copy of. His chest throbbed as he saw his arm slung over the dark-haired boy's shoulder, a stabbing feeling in his gut making him drop the pictures and run to the bathroom to throw up. He had cried then, tears spilling down his face until he'd managed to stop several hours later. The photos were stuffed into the drawer, hidden away at the back where he wouldn't have to face them.

"I wonder what sort of sight you're seeing now,"


End file.
